• Almost successfully combined the words "Yiddish" and "Nazi" in the same hashtag.  2017


  • Honorable Mention, Most F-bombs Dropped in 180 Seconds.  2016


  • Two-Time World Record Holder for Most Unsolicited Dick Pics Received.  2015 & 2016.


  • Best Breasts (Over 40 Bracket), Impromptu Wet T-Shirt Contest, Candlewood Suites (not the one on the beach), Naples Florida.  2015


  • Winner, Dance Contest (Clothing Optional), Booze Cruise, Punta Cana, Dominican Republic.  2015


  • Finalist, International Snog Gobbler Competition.  2014


  • Best Yard Sign, Hoebroken Neighborhood Association.  2013


  • Former Spokesmodel (and client!) for TwatCreme, USA.  2009 - 2012*




*Stipulated early contract termination by "mutual" agreement covered by confidentiality clause.

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HONORS AND AWARDS